Archive for the 'New Jersey' Category

Oh, no, sweetie. You’re supposed to pick just one color from the paint strip, not the whole set. But if you’re going to do this, why not go all out and include the labels:

Found By: Jenn

We have creation:

Summer:

Fall:

And, inevitably, death:

But wait! It doesn’t have to end there! For we have spring, and rebirth (cue: choir of angels):

Ah, all of creation, right here.

Found by Scott (sorry, no working link), Sarah, Anna K, Sara K, and Wesley C.

The loveliest comment, by Land of shimp, is right here…

My husband just came in and asked me what my plans for the day are (I’m writing this on Sunday morning). I told him I was planning on scraping some moss off the roof, putting it in the blender with some buttermilk, mixing it up, and then painting the resulting goop on the cinderblocks I used to build a raised-bed garden last week.

He seemed to think this was an odd response.

Then I said I needed to do Monday morning’s blog post first.

“Maybe you could do something about moss,” sez he. I might have detected a wee touch of sarcasm.

SO THIS POST IS HERE JUST TO SHOW HIM THAT YES,  I CAN DO A POST ABOUT MOSS.

Because look! It’s moss! I’m not the only person who thinks moss is pretty! A real estate agent in New Jersey likes it so much that he or she featured it in the listing for this condo! And wrote that the condo was “freshly painted,” clearly meaning “freshly painted with a moss-and-buttermilk slurry!”

MOSS SMOOTHIE FTW

I’m sorry you all had to witness this.

(Submitted By: Melissa C.)

Loveliest comments, by JMixx and Johanna in exile, need to be seen in context.

House comes with low-maintenance lawn. Just remember to add plenty of right mouse-button every fall and you’ll be the envy of the neighborhood.

Found By: Leigh Anne S

Loveliest comment? It’s by dono1, and you need to see in in context.

Yes, there’s a lot to wonder about in this listing Jason found. So many, many bad photo choices. But my eye is caught by those blue kegs. What do they contain? Blue paint? Is this where the Blue Man Group hangs out, where they stockpile their spare paint? Somehow I pictured something more glamorous for them… but what do I know about showbiz? (Answer: bupkis.)

Monica found Chair either dead or passed out drunk. Is it time for an intervention? We could trick Chair into going to the local garden supply store…

No, no, it’s a sign of a good block to live on. Really. All the best neighborhoods have police vans parked throughout them.

(Found by Adam.)

Thanks to Allison for this exciting listing! Yeah! Let’s go buy a house! A house that looks oddly like a motel! But who am I to judge? My house looks oddly like a thrift store! So… go, househunters!

Christine found this classy B&B. Nothing says “worth almost a million bucks” like porn on the walls!

Plus we have an old friend dropping by. Perhaps the chair had made a reservation for the B&B, and wasn’t notified about the changes:

Is that a light under the sink, so you can really see the crud? Why is there a cord going into the sink? Do you feel like buying the house after seeing this photo? Yes, I know you do.