Archive for the 'Nebraska' Category

C’mon, kids! It’s time for a round of The Goose Game. Mary, you’re in charge of can of paint — try not to get any on the TV this time, sweetie. Jake, the metal scoop is yours. I’ll take the small stool; hun, do you want the large one? And baby gets the pole, as usual. First one to get the goose to the big X wins a point. Go!

(Found by Kathleen.)

Mary the Nebraska Realtor has found another doozy. Incapable of picking which photo is my favorite, I choose them all.

“Why does this keep getting taken down?” Why? Why is The Man keeping Angela down?

Another find by Mary the Nebraska Realtor. “Anyone crazy enough to put these colors together on a wall needs to be in a padded room,” she writes. “Oh, wait…”

Aiieee! Look out! Aliens have invaded this ranch, found by Mary the Nebraska Realtor! Giant purple aliens!

But wait… it’s okay. I see their spaceship is taking off. Their tiny, tiny spaceship. Phew!

Mary the Nebraska Realtor found this house. The listing is one of those “slowly growing dread” ones. It starts out with a cute-as-a-button bungalow, then the interiors become more and more trashed, and finally we end up in the basement where — if I’m seeing this correctly — a bulging Hellmouth is about to open and bring forth the end of the world. Tra la la.

When I think “Would I like to live in this house?” My first consideration is “Does it come with a man in shorts carrying a dog with glowing eyes?”

Hmmm. Maybe. But can you toss in a second dog with glowing eyes? Perhaps one that will block the way to the bathroom?

You can? Excellent! Sign me up.

Found by Mary the Nebraska Realtor.

“Hey, Pinky.”

“Hi, Mauve. What’s on?”

“Oh, just the plants. As usual. Want to watch with me?”

“Sure.”

(Contented silence for the next three hours.)

Mary the Nebraska Realtor found this… um… pile of bricks. Yay?

“nice place no better price priced to sell fast” says the listing.

“$435,000? In Nebraska?” says Mary the Nebraskan Realtor.

“That much would get you a nice one-bedroom toolshed around here” says me.

Mary the Nebraska Realtor writes: “Grandpa can’t get out of the chair; let’s just sell him with the house.”