Archive for the 'France' Category

I keep staring at this lower photo, trying to figure out what the orange thing on the floor is. If you’re living in an apartment the size of a minivan, every item you have has to be useful, right? Every possession needs to be justified?

And then they go and get a… a… big orange dot. A scale? A Frisbee? Is it the cork sealing the hole in the floor that leads to the apartment below? Is it the secret passageway to the bathroom? Is it where the kids in the family do their timeouts when they misbehave? I do not know.
Found by: Tania

So you might be thinking this is bad trompe l’oeil in the photo above. It is not bad trompe l’oeel. It is good tromp l’oil.  Here, from a house on the other side of the globe, is bad trampe l’ouil:

Yes, it’s realistic, but is it desirable? No, it is not, and that is why it is bad tromp l’oull.

At least I hope it’s tromp l’oeil. Because if it isn’t, it means that somebody is actually selling a house that looks like that… nah. That’s crazy talk. Tramp l’oil it is!

P.S. Because I am nothing if not helpful: tromp looey.

Found by: Nina

Loveliest comment, by Stuart: I think what amazes me the most about these is that the roadrunner can go right through them yet the coyote always gets his face smashed.

Found by: Taya

My fellow Americans: you know how Europeans are all “oh, you Yanks, you think a 100-year-old house is old, you are so funny, my aunt lives in a house that was built by the Aurignacians, look at you and your silly screened-in-porches and modern wiring?” Yeah. I’m okay with that.

This listing here shows all all Europeans live. Every. Single. One.

Found by: Nina

Loveliest comment, by TacoMagic: I always wanted to live in a giant bread oven. Think of how easy it would be to bake!

What? All this for just $900 a month? Mais non, mon cabbage. It’s a sublet. C’est clair que you just get those two shelves in the middle photo. One for you to sleep all curled up cosy-like, and one for your stuff. Adorable!

Found By: Michael

Loveliest comment, by ann: why in the world would this person need the multiple dishes and glasses? I mean, sure, they apparently managed to squeeze in the one boyfriend for the photo session, but does anybody seriously think whoever lives here needs place settings for four?!?

Mais non, you say! I cannot live in such a small space! But clearly you are missing all  the amenities. Here, let me show you:

Ah bien! Tres jolly. Mercy plates.

Found by: me

Je suis désolée! I read that there is only one pissoir left in Paris. Next you’ll be telling me that they don’t play accordions on every street corner any more, and that little street urchins no longer carry home Père and Mère‘s wine bottles and baguettes. Fortunately, this apartment is available, and it has so much of that atmosphère! Who can resist it? And unlike the old vespasiennes, it has plenty of habitabilité — and a flush toilet. Not much else, but it does have that toilet. And a radiator.

(Je don’t speak a word of French beyond what I’ve picked up from Hercule Poirot, so pardon if I wrote something atmosphère. Mercy buckets!)

Found By: Rene

Ah, the French. So sophisticated. When American landlords offer bathrooms to live in, they’re just ratholes like this one. But look at this “studette” Maï found! Check out the swank shower curtain, and the skylight! Imagine the delightful dinner parties you could host, the sparkling conversation… until one of your guests needs to use the bathroom, and things suddenly become rather awkward.

Found by Charlene: this… uh… apartment? Help me, Google… Ah, now it makes sense. It’s a “Board of 8m ² and 22m3 on the 3rd floor,” complete with a “toilet on the floor.” Que bueno.

From cedric-from-belgium, it’s It’s Lovely‘s first (as far as I recall) Not Safe For Work listing! I’ve added a modesty Chair to the photo, but clicking on the listing link will reveal far, far more than one expects to be revealed in a real estate listing — at least more than I expect, with my uptight American ways.

Laura found this happy trio in a listing. Unfortunately I don’t speak French, so I can’t tell you if they’re included in the house. Probably, though. C’est pas grave!