Archive for the 'England' Category

Move in and join the Cult of… who? Who is that afro’d person? Bob Ross?

Mr. Kotter? Or possibly Juan Epstein?

The fat guy who sweats flowers? (Note: I can’t find anything to back this up — not that I’ve tried all that hard — but back when I worked at a store that sold nag champa incense, the understanding I had was that it was based on the odor of Satya Sai Baba’s sweat. This was supposed to be a good thing.)

My money’s on Gabe Kaplan. It’s the only one that makes sense.

Found by: Clare

Loveliest comment, by PsychoDad: I think I’ll turn my house into a shrine to Juan Epstein (sorry Mr Kotter!)

Signed,

Epstein’s mother

Look, I understand that these people — not being attached to the walls — do not convey with the house. They’re aspirational. You should aspirate to be like them, or something like that. But why? Why would anyone want to be like this? What is the situation here? To begin with they’re drinking coffee — well, they’re English, so maybe it’s tea — so it’s morning. I have no interest in snuggling pre-tea.

But even if I did feel like getting all snookie snookums before breakfast, why on the stairs? Do they not own any furniture? What are they waiting for? Are they going up or down? How hideous is their living room that they’d rather sit on the steps?
Found by: Ella

Loveliest comment, by Comfy Cushion:

We sit so snug ‘pon the stair
Sipping tea, our cups are pairs.
Snuggled here, all head to head
Because, O God, have you seen the bed?!

Happy Not for Sale Wednesday! And now watch while I lose all Internet credibility I ever had and confess: I have not read The Hobbit, nor Lord of the Rings. I tried, I really did, but oh my god they’re boring not my style. But people I know and respect love those books, and the movies to. And people I don’t know but still think are kind of awesome seem to really have taken the message of the books — which I think is something like “stay in your little round house, it’s scary out there” — to heart.

Hobbit houses! That’s what I’m talking about. People living like hobbits. Like these people, making it our first Lovely Listing in Wales:

Here there be Swiss Dwell-reading hobbits:

Above-ground hobbits:

…and couldn’t-get-approval-from-the-planning-committe hobbits.

Loveliest comment, by wasserpig: …”Hobbit houses! That’s what I’m talking about. People living like hobbits. Like these people, making it our first Lovely Listing in Wales:”… You mean: That’s what I’m tolkien about!

Found by: Erin

Found by: Cat

Found By: Nina and Lori

Found by Laura

“Oooh!” you say. “I want to live in a public bathroom, yes I do!”

To which I reply, “Sorry, dear reader, but it’s Not For Sale Wednesday and this house is not for sale.”

This former public restroom, former ammunition depot is being rented by a couple who fixed it all up and made it into a rather charming house. (I have the impression that everything in England is a rental with, like, 500 year leases, and in theory the queen could evict everyone if she wanted to, and wouldn’t that be a busy day for U-Haul?)

I raise my mug in a toast to people who can look at a public lavatory — that’s the “before” picture on top — see past 100 years of use by the public for all sorts of unpleasant things, and figure out how to fix the place up; me, I still have pictures hanging on the wall that are just where we stuck ‘em because the previous owners had nails there. Cheers!
Found by: Sandra

When I saw these photos I was all set to get out my excellent Photoshop skills and put on a label saying that tube in the middle photo was a water slide from some other room. But no, I can’t do that. Why not? Because IT ACTUALLY IS. IT’S A WATER SLIDE GOING FROM THE MASTER BEDROOM TO THE POOL.

Why don’t all houses have water slides dumping you straight from your bedroom into your pool? Sure, it sounds fancy and bizarre, but think about it — a century ago if you told people that in the future we’d all be pooping in closets in our houses and liking it… wait. Let me start that over.

Take two: if you time traveled back a century and told people that in the year 2010 we all have indoor plumbing in the developed world, they’d be surprised, right? But it’s gone from being just for the rich to completely standard. (Note: I have done no research and this is all based on faint memories of The Great Brain books.) So why can’t indoor water slides be completely standard, too? And why can’t we not bother waiting until 2110, but get them now?

I have seen the future and it is indoor water slides. I can’t wait.
Found by: Gert

Loveliest comment, by Angel: Oh, the humidity!

For the inauguration of NFSW day, we give you: LEGO HOUSE!

Found by: Sara

For a mere £10,000 a week — and if you need it translated into dollars, you can’t afford it — you, too, can play ping pong under the watchful eye of Chief Joseph! (Note: might not be Chief Joseph.) You can baptize your pets, houseguests, or UPS guy!

And when it all gets to be too much, you can retreat to your own sci-fi/fantasy (yet somehow tasteful) bedroom.

I just can’t decide if this is awesome or not. It should be awesome, but it doesn’t quite hold together for me. Is it the building-within-a-building that doesn’t seem quite right? Is it the Foosball? I’m not sure.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by Texchanchan: First Henry VIII, then Cromwell, now this.

That book? It’s around here somewhere… let me just take a step back so I can scan the AAAAHHHHHHHHHH *thunk* *thunk* *thunk*

This house is “internationally recognised for its unique character,” says the listing. And by “unique,” they mean that there’s only one way I could lie down in it after I fell down the stairs and hit my head and fainted, because the kitchen is 5′ 6″ wide and I’m taller than that. But if you’re an average-sized woman, go ahead and pass out in any direction you like!

Via Google Sightseeing, which links to an illuminating street view here. Slightly more information here (warning! PDF file).

Loveliest comment, by Kate: Does my house make me look fat?

Oh dear. Chair’s cousins (for they don’t look like true Chairs) have been feeling neglected, and are planning how to get back into the blog.

Found By: Simon

Loveliest comment: a group effort by TacoMagic, JMixx, and Denita TwoDragons…

Oh, man, know what would be even more awesome about this kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathroom/dining room if I lived there? I work from home, so not only would it be a  kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathroom/dining room, it would be a  kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathroom/dining room/office! Oh, and my kids would come along, I suppose (legally I’d have to bring them), so it would be a kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathroom/dining room/office/playroom. And if my husband comes along, too (which he would, because I like him and plus there’s no way I’m solo parenting in an “exclusive” building) , it would be a kitchen/bedroom/living room/bathroom/dining room office/playroom/ bike shop. But now I’m getting silly.

Found By: Helen