Archive for the 'Canada' Category

“Coed Friendly,” sez the listing. If anyone needs proof that “co-ed” is used as a noun by creepy, creepy people…

Found by: Selena

Loveliest comment, by tuulikki: from ad posted 6/21/10:

>1 Room Available Now; another on July 1st

guess we know how long it goes between meals…

I relate to this. It expresses the true me. On the outside, I look like — well, not literally, I’m being poetic — I look like a modest Canadian one bedroom, two bathroom condo:

But on the inside? On the inside I am glorious:

The staircase art tells of the dual nature of my personality. I am very complex.

And this one represents that sometimes I get sleepy, but I need a bath, and I want to roast marshmallows, and it’s easiest if I can do it all in the same room:

Careful with the skewers, there, buddy.
Found by: Krista

What the hell? I go look at the voting page and I find this:

Some real estate agent is stealing my style, and my LOLcat overlord is taunting me in the headlines! This will not stand. Take this, real estate agent. This is what your listings should look like:

Leave the jokes to the professionals, thank you very much.
Found by: Louise

Loveliest comment, by Vivian: *feels sorry for the poor little photoshopped dog that is about to get run over*

“Perfect for any sophisticated Buyer!” says the listing. Especially perfect if the buyer is all pale and moody and sparkly and got into his mom’s makeup. For yes, this is the house of the creepy stalker dreamy vampire Edward Cullen. Or it would be if he weren’t (look away, Twihards) fictional. I, of course, do not admit to familiarity with any of the books or having seen any of the movies, because I’m above all that. Anyway.

Here’s where the Cullens keep their books, which they throw at their guests in the hope of inducing paper cuts. They hang a beach towel on the wall in memory of when they last went surfing.

Here’s the kitchen where the Cullens prepare their strict raw vegan diet:

This nubby-floored room is where they practice sliding into home plate:

Nobody knows what this room is for:

It is a mystery.

Found by: me

Loveliest comment, by Charlene: There must have been one heck of a sale on potlights at Rona in 2001, is all I’m sayin’.

Welcome to my new home! It’s six bedrooms and heated with propane, which is unusual for a castle, but I’m a rebel that way. It’s always Christmas here. Always.

Sometimes I drink too much egg nog and try to get into that last balcony up there. That’s when my family puts up the safety gate and makes me take a wee lie-down.

This room is saved for Miley Cyrus, who will visit just as soon as she gets a chance to read the fan letter I sent her. Daily. For the past three years. I do wonder what the delay is… but still, at least I know it’ll be Christmas when she comes.
Found by: Rebecca

Loveliest comment, by magdalenaperks: When I was a kid, Canadians were known for their frugality and practicality. Then they watched Dallas and Dynasty, and things changed. Yes, they did.

I’m puzzled by the turrets. I mean, were they real turrets at some point, useful for scanning the horizons for enemies? Did they sink? Were they truncated? Why do architects agree to do this?

On behalf of the UAC, welcome to Saskatoon. This facility serves as a three bedroom, two bathroom bungalow…

EDIT: By request:

At Lovely Listing, customer satisfaction is our #1 priority.

Found by: Jade. Slight explanation here.

Loveliest comment, by Dominic: The hallway looks like something out a cartoon where characters run in and out of different doorways. Therefore, it is awesome.

Always wanted to live in a hot-air balloon, but your chronic vertigo keeps you stuck on the ground? Stop crying — we have just the solution for you…
Found by: Jade

I want — slup! — to say something about — slup! — this house, but — slup! — every time I try to look at — slup! — the wallpaper, my — slup! — eyes just slide down off it. Slup! So shiny. So metallic. Slup!

Found by: Sandra

Loveliest comment, by glory von hathor: I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years.
But the wallpaper pattern would awake me,
Cray-cray pattern made of fears.

…that I didn’t have to sleep in the guest bedroom,

…and that I didn’t have to make Thanksgiving dinner in an operating room,

…that I haven’t yet had to call an emergency plumber (pictured above) on the cloggiest day of the year.

And most of all: I’m thankful for my lovely readers with their excellent comments and amazing finds. Thank you! Mwa! Extra pie all around!

(Note to furriners: today is Thanksgiving, when Americans eat a lot of pie. There’s more to the story, but once you grow out of the handprint turkey stage and into “needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense” awareness it gets awkward.)

Found By: Mario P

Found by, and by: the Facebook group I just can’t stop stealing from, “For oss som fascineres av bildene på Finn.no.”

From the tilted perspective to the baby doll about to sign a contract, that photo leaves me anxious and confused. I shall ignore it and move on to the bathroom. What could possibly be strange about a bathroom. Tum te tum… OH MY GOD!

LOOK AT IT!! LOOOOK!!  (Or, as they say on eBay, L00K!!!) It’s Shower 2000! Fortunately I have the manual right here. Let me show you a scan from the Owner’s Guide to Showering in the Future:

I would totally get one, but I wear glasses and can’t even tell my shampoo and conditioner bottles apart when I’m in the shower and I’m afraid I’d accidentally hit the “Post to YouTube” button some morning before I’d had my tea.

Found By: Nathalie

Loveliest comment, by Denita TwoDragons: Manual states: “This shower takes 1.21 gigawatts of AC current. Optional Gallifreyan plug adapter not included. The company is not responsible for injuries incurred at speeds above 88 miles per hour.”