Oh Vegas, Thank Goodness No One Here Has a Gag Reflex
You know what? It’s been a long time since we had an OH MY GOD HOW DID THAT EVEN GET IN THE TOILET? AND WHY DID THE REAL ESTATE AGENT TAKE A PHOTO OF IT? AND WHY IS IT IN THE LISTING? AND HOW SHOULD I LIVE MY LIFE TO MAKE SURE I NEVER SEE THIS IN REAL LIFE? sort of post, the kind there used to be so many of here. So, here you go! My new LOLcat overlord picked a doozy! But good news — in the two years I’ve been doing this I finally sort of maybe figured out how to do it as a thumbnail, so you don’t have to click on it if you don’t want to.
Let me repeat that. You don’t have to click on it.
There is no reason to.
It’s gross.
Don’t do it.
I’m slightly ashamed that I even put this post up. My mom reads this blog, you know.
The air around here is 99% pollen and I can barely think. But one more time: You don’t have to click on it.
<—- WARNING: WEIRDER THAN YOU THINK
Lovely Listing: We Look So You Don’t Have To
Found by: Nina
Loveliest comment, by Girl in glasses: Calm down everyone–it’s obviously just a set from CSI
I knew I shouldn’t have clicked.
29 grand in Vegas??? It’s doable, needs a little elbow grease, EEEWWW!
I am a Vegas Realtor. I wish I could say I hadn’t seen (let alone smelled) units like this before. For that matter, it just makes me shake my head that there are in fact half-way decent condos available for $30k. Bidding wars on the darn things!
The sad part is that I regularly have people call me about units like that, saying that they did the math and the mortgage would be way less than rent so can I take them to see it. Sorry, no mortgage company anywhere is going to write a mortgage on this place. Cash only.
As much as I hate to say it, I’m glad Tracey’s staff left no doubt that this is a “fixer.”
How about credit card? Some credit cards have a limit higher than that…
A little elbow grease? Hell, looks like SOMEONE had enough grease to last a lifetime. What the place NEEDS is a well placed MATCH.
… and gelignite, a well placed match and gelignite.
Words to live by:
“There are no personal problems that cannot be solved by the proper application of high explosives.”
… real estate being, of course, merely one such possible problem.
Needs more than elbow grease … and EEEWWW! is right!
So many unanswered questions. Surely whoever was watermarking it would have questioned it’s suitability. Surely one of the sales staff would have suggested the bathroom be kept a surprise? Shouldn’t they? I mean they are supposed to be selling it aren’t they? Somebody hold me, I’m confused and scared all at once.
The toilet’s pretty nasty….and what is in the sink??
Cholera.
Gee Sara. Some sort of WARNING should have been in order here. Oh? There was? I thought it was more of a “if you don’t click on it, then the terrorists have won” suggestion.
I might attempt finishing my yogurt later this afternoon.
I clicked on it.
DON”T MAKE THAT MISTAKE!!
Listen to Sara!!
Listen to my mom!
What the hell is it? I can barely see it even after clicking.
don’t worry: you don’t WANT to see it…….
(think a toilet, with extremely gross rag half-in/halr-out, plus equally gawdawful sink….. icky, in the extreme!)
I emailed the realtor… wonder if she’ll reply?
She actually replied, and apparently doesn’t see anything wrong with it?
I believe that it is the shower curtain. The picture was posted to give an accurate
depiction of the condition of the property.
Best wishes,
Tracey
See my reply below.
Don’t. Really. Don’t. My question is not how it got in there, but rather what did it do before it started climbing back in?
I don’t get what it’s supposed to be. It looks like a really dirty towel hanging part in/ part out of the toilet.
I was hoping it was a dog or cat drinking out of the toilet .. nope .. it was NOT
::shares eye bleach with those who also clicked:: What the holy hell is that thing? UGGGHHH!
Second though, I don’t want to know. I never, ever, EVER want to know.
at least we were spared a glimpse of what the carpet must have endured!
Calm down everyone–it’s obviously just a set from CSI
According to the listing, there is now a contingent offer. Contingent on what? Finding out what is living in that bathroom? Or maybe what died in that bathroom?
I strongly suspect that someone was killed here…
It’s really rare to see a house so revolted by itself it vomits, but here, we have it.
Perfect!
The listing says it has two bathrooms, and this is the one that is pictured in the listing, which leads me to believe that this is the better of the two. And that’s just too much for me.
No, no! The previous resident just chose to decorate in “Earth Tones!” Note the off-white curtains hung in the sink! Unfortunately, he spilled bleach on one of his brown towels.
..What happens in Vegas.. stays in the bathroom. Wow.
The photo was included to show an accurate depiction of the scope of work required. In other words, I didn’t want anyone to waste their time looking at the unit if a little work like this was a turn off. Judging by your comments, I was right. This property is currently in escrow. Purchased by an astute buyer who was smart enough to realize that this was merely a cosmetic issue… As soon as this property closes escrow, the “offending” photo shall be removed.
Well, good job Tracey! You put the “REAL” back into Realtor.
Ms. Donley, I congratulate your tough love approach to buyers!
heck, I congratulate you on your tough stomach: I’m pretty sure you are not paid NEARLY enough to have to deal with this kind of mess!
You know, as gross as it is, I appreciate the image. I remember looking at a listing for a house and thinking “oh, that’s not bad”, wasting my time with a viewing, and discovering that the angles were cleverly selected to hide that the house was a half-demolished disaster. Had I known that, I wouldn’t have looked. So kudos Tracey, kudos.
I agree!!! If only ALL Realtors were like that, seriously- we recently when through the house buying process and saw some online that were gorgeous, went there and found horrible horrible things including broken windows, abused dogs, rotting wood floors, etc. Seriously people, you don’t help ANYONE when you post deceiving photos!!!
*round of applause for Tracey ‘Tough-Love’ Donley!!
Plus it keeps Lovely Listing entertaining.
at that price, and the pics all scream FORECLOSED.
seen several houses that were in that condition. including the house my brother lost.
Yes you can get a house cheap when it is a foreclosure. but be warned. if you do. the previous owners might have junked it in some not so obvious ways. you may end up spending more money than you paid for the place in the first place to bring it up to code…..
I wish I had taken a better look at the one i’m in. the dishwasher was wreaked and we did not see it. good thing i enjoy doing dishes by hand…… makes me wonder what hidden problems that are here.
ALWAYS get a really good home inspector to go through a home once you have an accepted offer. Mine really does flip every switch, check every outlet, and turn on every appliance to make sure it works. Even if it’s brand new! And that’s how he nearly set the oven instruction manual on fire during one inspection we did. Sorry this advice came to late for your dishwasher, but getting an inspector now might help put your mind to rest about future problems, and fix some things before they cause a disaster.
When I bought my house, the very first thing the inspector did when he walked in was turn on the oven and start the dishwasher. I asked why, and he said, “We’ll let the dishwasher run through a full cycle” – it was a “light wash” cycle, not a full cycle – “to be sure that it runs properly and drains how and where it’s supposed to; then by the time I get done with the rest of the house, the oven will have had time to get to the temperature I set it at, so we can see if it heats properly.” Actually, I take it back, the FIRST thing he did was check the warming drawer for instruction booklets – he’d had an instruction booklet fire on his first inspection! Must be a common theme.
Also like ShortWoman’s inspector, he flipped every single switch, checked every single outlet (even moving the previous owners’ left-behind furniture to get to a few outlets), and ran every faucet, hot and cold.
Even so, there were still a few surprises – the rusted out evap.cooler vents that had not been connected to each other, just sort of lined up facing each other from four feet away, for instance.
Okay, calm down everyone!
It just looks like a towel or a shirt or something. I mean, that place is disgusting, no doubt, but it’s not like it was a dead body or anything.
I dunno. The carpet is far more disgusting than that toilet. At least it is confined to one spot. The carpet is everywhere…and have you ever tried to pull up carpet in that condition. HAZMAT time!
That is plywood, not carpet. it looks like they already pulled it up, or never put in down in the first place.
That is definitely carpet, probably never cleaned once since it was new. See the bedroom photo at http://p.rdcpix.com/v01/l267b6a42-m5o.jpg where you can still see the nap.
Oh dear gods, that’s a carpet! I thought it was a bare plywood floor. At least you can put down fresh flooring over even the nastiest bare subfloor… this, yeah, break out the hazmat suit.
that’s carpet?!? ewww, I though it was stripped down to a bare concrete floor!
that does not look like a carpet but a rather dirty cement floor that has been stained
If I were IC at that disaster, I would definately go with level A PPE. You can’t take chances with that many unknowns!!
thanks to a cat after he was neutered. refused to use the litterbox. the carpet we got rid of looked worse than that one did. and it was my man and a student of his that helped to get rid of the carpet.
did not find out till my man’s first wife had walked out and we managed to clean the dining room……
I’m not fazed by the toilet. That just looks like someone had taken a towel and tried to scrub up, then said “Who the hell am I kidding” and chucked it in the bowl. It’s the incipient coral reef in the sink that made my eyes widen.
No, I’m not fooled. Not a shower curtain, not a dirty towel, not the OBVIOUS. It’s a bloody t-shirt. I’m sure the agent would have revealed that there had been a reported murder, but how many murders get reported, hmm? All the ones we don’t know about.
Something tells me this is a part of a bet. Ms. Real Estate Agent Lady must be the top dawg of her division, and the guy on the low end of the sales chart – you know, the guy who always feels cheated because he never gets “the good” lots – put up a paycheck on her ability to sell this. And HE got to choose the photos. She has one month to at least pull a profitable sale on the home…GO!
Oh it will sell. She’ll have 12 offers by close of business Friday and another 4 when she shows up to her office Monday morning. Vegas is NUTS right now.
Oh my gawd! You are right! It was HORRIBLE! Did you see that totally short backsplash to the tub? So you get to shower with drywall walls….. eegads. I’ve never seen anything so frightening!
I agree. I can put on rubber gloves and throw away the dirty rags in the sink and toilet. With no contractors in my family, I would have to hire someone to fix the shower situation, as I would have no idea how to take care of that. Using that shower in that condition would be just asking for problems; leaking, mold, etc.
Of course, that bathroom was probably in regular use prior to the tenants, their “garden,” and their “science experiment” being evicted, so those problems probably already exist.
Someone call “How Clean is Your House”. I’d like to see Kim and Aggies response to this!
Kim- “Just some lemon juice and a little elbow grease and it’ll come right up now, Dearly. Now take a whiff. Mmmmm… Isn’t that just Lovely.”
Aggie- “Now normal levels of bacteria should be between 10-100. But this! The bacteria count is in the millions! There’s stephalacopulous, mesotheleocus, and a few other nasty ones that I just made up names for. What to see what kind of rash it’ll give you?”
Then Aggie would scrape some crud off with her bare fingernail. Why? Why does she do that?
And why do BOTH of them bother to wear gloves when they just get down in the gross & then promptly touch everything else with the gloves still on?? Cross-contamination ftw!
Amen! I don’t think I’ve seen a single episode where at least ONE of them doesn’t get on her hands and knees, bum pointing towards the camera, and get her nose about half a millimeter away from a suspicious looking stain, then recoil in horror and stage-whisper, “It’s WEE! PEE-PEE! Someone’s PEED right there! And over here it’s POO!”
I know it’s for the camera value, but it still makes me itch. I always want to scream, “YOU KNOW IT’S GONNA STINK, DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE IN IT!”
And gloves with feathers on at that. How clean are those, ladies? Have you done your bacteria testing on the feathery edges? I bet not. The man from my corner shop was on that show once, you can bet I never bought any food not in a can from there ever again, blick
It wouldn’t have cost the owner a lot to make some small changes (ie swap out the bathroom, replace a carpet or two) to make this SO much more appealing… makes me wonder if they even see the state it’s in.
Thank you for helping me with my weight loss efforts. I was about to fix myself some dinner. Never mind.
Honestly, it’s not the sights that get me so much. I’ve seen intestines spilling out of a human being and stuff like that. I can handle sights. What gets me is SMELLS. And, I’m struggling with the reality of what that whole place must smell like. In all seriousness I ask: do the realtor and folks looking at the property wear masks and glove up for the tour? The infectious control issue concerns me truly.
BTW – TO TRACEY: You rock the real estate world hard core. You are gooooooooood. Nice honesty, nice selling. I hope you treat yourself to something lovely with your commission from this sale. Great job! I have respect for your skills.
Thank you, pepsibookcat. Honesty is always the best policy, and some of the posts have made me laugh. They obviously don’t know the quality of my work. This particular photo was included for a specific reason… For me to know, and for my client to succeed… Just trying to get the job done for my short sale client (we really are in escrow, really
). Everyone has my word that it will be removed once this transaction closes escrow.
I looked. I don’t understand what that is. And since I’m about to eat dinner, I am going to resolutely continue not to understand.
It’s Aallliiiiiiiiivvvvveee!!! Agh! Call Kim & Aggie, and break out the Hazmat suits! I’d take it on, but the commute’s a little far…
@Tracey: Nice Job! It’s good to see honest pictures of listings instead of just beige walls with beige carpet and beige lawn… Thanks! And welcome to Lovely Listing!
Thank you, Elia. It is never my intent to offend, just to be truthful…
I have seen worse. I went with my mom to look at a possible investment property that was close to my house a few months back. The garage was full of filth and had become a nesting area for feral cats. The refrigerator was there, but what was inside had somehow mutated in the year or so the house had sat vacant. We were also greeted by the carcass of a dead rat while entering the house through the back yard as the Realtor did not have the lock box key. The price was $49k for a 3/2/1 house with 1200 sq ft in a fairly decent neighborhood. It was worth the look, but in the end they passed on it because no one could figure out how to buy it! It is still sitting there, blighting the neighborhood with it’s 3 foot tall grass that stays that way until enough people complain to the county to cut it.
As for my house, I bought it as a special deal before it went into foreclosure. It had “good bones”, which is a nice way to say that there was no mold and the roof did not yet leak. The carpet had mystery sticky stains in it that no amount of shampooing would get rid of. I wound up cutting them out and throwing them away to eliminate whatever it was until I could afford new carpet. It was a trashed rental property and the former tenants had even stolen the pool pump and filter! I paid $40k 14 years ago and it sadly seems that the real estate prices are headed back in that direction once again…
My biggest question is: why do people randomly put stuff like this in the toilet in the first place?
I just don’t understand!
Well, barring alcohol, mental problems or extreme youth, I’d guess that the trap dried up and someone was trying to staunch the entry of sewer gas. *Why* the trap was empty while anyone was there to bother with it would then be the question.
I’ve seen worse!
You know how Western Europe puts a Saint Joseph statue in the yard to sell their home? Well, Eastern Europe uses cow placenta.
A great comfort for lovers of sausage.
Well, I looked, and now my eyeballs need to be sent off to the cleaners…
It’s only .9 miles from the Southwest Behavior School. My little Johnny could now walk to school!
Dear God! I have gone blind!
It’s bad when the TOWEL is THROWING UP!
It actually wouldn’t look so bad if it weren’t for the soiled cloth in the toilet and the sink full of dirty soapy water. Toss the rag in the washer, an drain and rinse the sink, THEN take a picture…oh and maybe mop the floor…it’s a bit dirty. Other than that, it’s not bad.
Here is what Amy thinks:
I believe that a homeless man payed a quick visit to this charming little affair and once there, he had to use the facilities. Now, upon having released a fairly, er, formidable BM, he realizes that he has nothing to wipe with. So what does any sane, homeless person do? Why you take down the curtains and use that. Much better. Oh dear. Then he realizes that there is no running water, so he is forced to leave that monstrosity in the potty.
It’s been fixed up!!! http://www.oakvillepropertiesidx.com/moreinfo/homes/Las%20Vegas,%20NV/15654582/