A Man's Home Is His…Oh.
“It could be developed with multi-family, office, retail, etc.” says the listing, and once again I wonder and the narrow view of the real estate agent. “Etc’? How can you type “etc” when you could type AWESOME CASTLE. And then in “exterior features” the only quality mentioned is “in city limits” when it clearly should say IT HAS MERLONS! Come on, how often does a real estate agent get to say “merlons” in a listing? I’ve been writing about real estate for over one thousand posts and this is my first chance.
MERLONS!!
Found By: Allison L
Loveliest comment, by Land of shimp: A moat scaled to this particular castle would probably be best served by sea monkeys. Wouldn’t want to dwarf the joint.
Ok, it’s a great day when I get to learn a new word! I though those things were called “crenellations” but apparently THAT refers to the space the “merlons” enclose.
I’m not sure whether the owner had a medieval fixation or simply lived in a VERY bad neighborhood (requiring him to shoot flaming arrows from his crenellation while hiding behind a merlon.)
LOL, I read merlon and thought “Merlin?”
Definitely had the same reaction. ^_^
I want to pour the boiling oil! Oh me, meeeee!!!
The inside is disgusting, and the price is way too high. But the outside….awesome mini castle house!
A man’s home is his ‘castle’ I believe the saying goes…or ends. But this picture looks a like a White Castle I wouldn’t purchase food from even if they were giving it away.
Love it! Great title, too. Got me to click right through from twitter!
The credit for the title goes to my LOLcat overlord.
Well we must offer him (or her? but that would be “overlady”) cheezburgers.
Hmm. Good point. I actually have overladies (two of ‘em).
The house appears to be well-defended against the army of bulldozers expected shortly.
What no moat? Well that is just a deal breaker. Any castle home worth its salt has a moat.
Yes, exactly what I was thinking!
I’d build a moat. It just seems WRONG without one.
Without the alligators, of course.
It’s Florida! Ya gotta have alligators!
Exactly. If you buy a castle with the moat already installed, then you have no improvements to make. How are you ever going to build equity in your castle? But, if you have your serfs build the moat after you buy, you add tens of thousands of dollars to the resale value.
I did not even think of that. Can you get serfs off e-bay?
Unfortunately, as a Florida native, I know that with a moat comes standing water…. with standing water in Florida, not only will the gators come willingly, so will millions of mosquitoes.
My SCA dream home it ain’t. But it could be a nice starter keep for someone.
Now that’s just sad.
Finally a place to use my collection of replica siege equipment that’s been gathering dust in my garage!
Huzzah!
One large trebuchet for sale. Will deliver to buyer. Boulders not included.
I can’t buy the place because I wouldn’t be able to resist wearing medieval clothing and talking funny.
I’d always be saying things like “Would me lord like some tea and jam?”
Shoot, I do that without the house, m’lady.
Looks more like the Alamo. Remember the Alamo?
Wait, wait…don’t tell me! Alamo…Alamo…that does sound familiar…
I’ve got it! Isn’t that how you like your pie?
isn’t this where serial killers take their victims for the final act of their twisted psychodrama? I swear I’ve seen this place in a movie.
You could easily install a pool/moat.
The prospective owner’s list of improvements:
1). Hardwood floors
2). Granite counters in the kitchen
3). Cherry cabinets
4). Marble tile in the bathroom
5). Moat (w/aligators)
6). Crown molding
7). Portcullis
8). Put in dishwasher
9). Skylight in master bedroom
Exactly! A moat with alligators!
A moat scaled to this particular castle would probably be best served by sea monkeys. Wouldn’t want to dwarf the joint.
Sea monkeys with LAZERS!!
I’m dying…sea monkeys???? BWAHAHAHA!
Sea monkeys deserve a warm meal!
That;s what the LAZERS are for!
Of course it’s in Largo, long-time home of the Bay Area Renaissance Fair(e).
I didn’t know Richard Garriott was getting into home-manufacturing…
Formerly owned by Rapunzel, who was foreclosed upon as her advertising deal with Clairol fell through.
When I was kid, one of my best Christmas toys was a medieval fort with knights, horses, archers, and a royal family and some peasants. This house is like a real-life sized model. Just imagine the fun you can have on the weekend. Get your No.1 woman to dress up as Princess Rapunzel and stand on the roof crying out, “Help me! Help me! The even dark knight has me captive in the castle. Will someone come to my rescue?”
Does the owner fart in your general direction when you knock, then proceeds to say: “Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries”.
And then fling cows at you…
It’s only a model.
O Florida, sometimes I miss you.
I’ve actually passed this house, sadly enough. There are a couple others in a similar style up in clearwater, but not nearly as “castle” looking.
Why bother if it is not castle enough looking? Go big or go home people.
It’s not exactly a super-villain retreat, more of a villain fixer-upper.
It’s even got a bartizan, you get to say that even less often in an estate agents blurb I’ll wager
(as an aside, I’d call the whole battlemented parapet area, crenellations – merlon is the individual unit)
It’s being sold as a tear-down. That breaks my heart. Unique funky quirky castle house? MUST SMASH! Need more condos! Raaaaah!
The alligators are doing a poor job of population control, frankly.
I’ve actually been to that house! A friend of mine’s daughter lived there for a few years!
Did she wear a hennin?
Sadly, no. It would have looked good on her, though (her head was a little pointed, bless her heart).