The craziest thing? These were taken on the same day.

Good Lord, I want this house. Yes, my husband’s commute to downtown Seattle will be a bit rough, and my kids are in for hella long schoolbus rides. But I DON’T CARE because LOOK AT IT JUST LOOK AT IT. I WILL NEVER HAVE TO GO ON DANDELION PATROL AGAIN.
Found by: Andrew

I keep staring at this lower photo, trying to figure out what the orange thing on the floor is. If you’re living in an apartment the size of a minivan, every item you have has to be useful, right? Every possession needs to be justified?

And then they go and get a… a… big orange dot. A scale? A Frisbee? Is it the cork sealing the hole in the floor that leads to the apartment below? Is it the secret passageway to the bathroom? Is it where the kids in the family do their timeouts when they misbehave? I do not know.
Found by: Tania

Yes, it’s pretty. But how many times would I fly into the wall and fall to the floor, dazed?
Found by: Myles

Loveliest comment, by Michele: When the sun hits a certain way, millions of child-size handprints create a celebration of life mosaic visible to the entire neighborhood.

From the street, we think it is a two-bedroom, one bathroom house.

But the inside? After we are inside, it’s either a chapel or a set of Goa’uld space transporter rings. Or both! Why not both? Either way, good luck figuring out what the property taxes should be.
Found by: Kelsey

Loveliest comment, by LMA: Just wait until the winter solstice when the sun comes through the giant prism in the kitchen ceiling at *precisely* the right angle and vaporizes anyone who happens to be leaning into the fridge at that moment!

Oh, dear. Modesty Chair, please report to Craigslist. Modesty Chair, you are needed on Craigslist. (Click on the picture above to see the whole Craigslist post if you must, you smutty person, you.)
Found by: Danielle. The not-quite-relevant-to-real-estate photos have been replaced. The screenshot lives on.

Loveliest comment, by Meej: I think that’s just a photo of the advertised Cable Hookup. At least, it looks a lot like the Hookups that I used to see on Cable as a teenager…

On the outside, it’s  ”a sandstone constructed lodge with a slate pitched roof.” Go down to the basement to check on the furnace, though, and…

Oh, my. Is this the standard heating apparatus for two-bedroom, one bathroom houses in Scotland?

According to the listing, the basement leads to “a subterranean structure which is believed to have been constructed as a military facility in the 1950’s as a military command centre and operated until approximately 1985,” which is all oddly vague. But come to think of it, I don’t know for sure when the family room was added to my house; I guess I understand how you can forget to ask the right questions when you’re getting the keys from the previous owner.

What could you do with this bunker, you ask? The real estate agent has some suggestions: “a mushroom farm or a large wine store and if the site had been in a more accessible location it would have made a superb night club.” I ask, why limit yourself to just one of those choices?

This room is crying out to be turned into a mushroom farm / large wine store / night club for people from far away. Something sort of like this:

Oontz oontz oontz oontz!
Found by: DrBunsen

Loveliest comment, by Stuart: “Quite the kitchen you’ve built over your complex, Stavro. Do you expect me to keep this from MI6?”

“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you… to dine.”

“Ah lovely. Thank you.”

“Not at all! Scone?”

Is Chair… evolving?
Found by: Annemarie

So you’re looking for a house in Plummer, Idaho? Have I got a deal for you! This “single family” home, as per the listing, is a roomy 42,000 square feet. And check out those high ceilings! $200,000 seems a bit steep for northern Idaho, but you’ll save on air conditioning — this house stays cool all summer long — and you won’t have to budget a single penny for curtains. Make Plummer your new home today!
Found by: Lori

(My LOLcat overlord wrote the headline. I really can’t improve on it.)
Found by: Sheri

Happy Not For Sale Wednesday! Or, sorry, it’s Not For Sale Wednesday, if you’re the person — and you know who you are — who complained that NFSW “never includes what I think it should.” Anyhoo. So, you’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a squished rat living in a wood pile. Wonder no more! It turns out it’s quite pleasant.

This camouflage is especially useful for hiding from  those annoying door-to-door nonprofit canvassers (and I say this as someone who used to be one; apologies, people of the greater Boston area, for interrupting your dinners). Just lower the windows and pretend to be a termite. Not even the most dedicated animal-rights activist expects a termite to sign a petition. I think.
Found by: Kirsi

Loveliest comment, by Stuart: “Well, Lieutenant, it looks like the perp disappeared into the woods. There’s no trace of him, and the only thing around is 3.78 cords of perfectly stacked firewood. Guess we should just call it a day.”