Shhhhh…. sleepy Tree is sleeping.

Found by: Jim. This Texas residence is yours for $39,900.

Mais non! you say. Surely this clipping, as seen on Fail Blog, is not really from a listing. And I can see why you might think that… but in a world where this made it to the MLS, anything is possible.

Happy Not For Sale Wednesday! And maybe it’s just as well that this gorgeous Chilean house — or rather, house with a gorgeous Chilean view — is Not For Sale, as I would be tempted to buy it and, as far as I can tell from the architect’s website, it’s designed to erode.

I have enough problems keeping the moss of my roof (last week my neighbor offered me a loan of his power washer, as the condition of my roof pained him). What could I do with a house that embodies the “very crude reality of the temporal condition of architecture”?

Nuthin’, that’s what. So I leave it to someone else, someone who hasn’t been living with unpainted drywall patches for four years.

Found by: Myles.

Hey, kids! I found our new home! It has everything we need!

See? We’ll live in a housing unit. Housing unit sweet housing unit.

Finally, a place for me to store my wood chip collection. I have almost the complete set!

Sometimes a pavilion will drop by for a visit. And if that isn’t exciting enough…

…ta dah! We can always generate emergencies to pass the time.

We’ll have some cool new pets, too.

Via Metafilter. These 48 buildings in upstate New York — a former TB sanitarium, that isn’t a problem, is it? — are yours for the low, low price of… uh… I have no idea.

Loveliest comment, by Lilly: What is it? Tthe DHARMA Initiative’s barracks?

Click on the link. Do it! CLICK ON THE LINK! For it is glorious. Photos worthy of an Australian listing… and, come to think of it, nary a Crayola shower to be seen, which makes me a little suspicious. Do we really know that this is in Norway? No, we do not, not until my ship comes in and I get to start doing field visits.

Do you think it’s all in excellent condition, or does the wallpaper smell of cigarette smoke? Oh I don’t care, I’m moving in immediately.

But wait. I just read the listing. My Norwegian is a bit rusty, so I used one of those webpage translatey thingies. According to it, the basement contains “Gang, laundry / boiler room, wc, storage rooms, barns, and snekkerbod vedbod.” Is that good? That doesn’t sound good. A street gang boiling laundry in a barn in the basement is bad enough, but throw in a snekkerbod vedbod and I’m pretty certain my mortgage company isn’t going to go along with my Move the Lovely Listing HQ to Norway! plan.

Found by: Ole

Aww, look! Another happy Countrywide customer, so pleased with their experience that they wrote them a thank you letter.

Note to furriners: Countrywide is pretty much the evilest villain in the American financial crisis. It has the twirliest moustache, the creepiest hunch, the darkest eyebrows. Booo! Hiss!

Found by: SC

Wheeee!

Found by: Susan

Welcome to our new quiz: Hipster or Survivalist? It beats me; everyone’s making pickles. The not-at-all-artisanal bread makes me suspect there are a lot of leftover Y2K rations under the beds, but I’m so very out of touch with what the young people are doing these days.

This 30-acre farm in Idaho was found by me. It’ll set you back $185,000, a price that makes me cry.

As the listing clearly states, it’s a deer with an apple slice (not a beanie) on its head. I don’t know why you’re acting all confused. What other picture could you possibly want to illustrate your half-million dollar house?

Found by: Ben

Loveliest comment, by mouseanon: As I read “[m]ost people come here to buy firewood” I imagined folks with axes taking out the back bedroom…

Finally! Someone has found a practical use for those number rods uptight preschool teachers wave around; Lord knows the children certainly can’t figure out what they’re supposed to do with them.

Found by: Ruth

Loveliest comment, by Mental Mouse: Within hours I’d be seeing those patterns with my eyes shut… worse than Tetris burn-in!